Sourdough

I have a memory that is not like Proust’s dark, limited frame of his childhood that lights up after
he had the sensation from eating. My food experience memory is clear because I bookmark the
memory in my head when I was creating it. I bookmark it because I was thinking about in the
future, if I stay in my driving job I won’t succeed in resisting eating at fast food establishments.
I was working “in the field” getting trained by my boss/friend and as he was talking on his
cell phone he took me to a Jack In The Box. I ordered a sourdough Jack meal. Scott didn’t
order anything to eat. Apparently he recently had lost 25lbs prior to going to his 20th high school
reunion. He spoke to me about stresses of the job and a lack of time to eat healthy at lunch. His
weakness was peanut M&Ms!
We drove out of the fast food parking lot to the next job site. I ate my cheeseburger and
fries standing outside of the car door in the parking lot at the job site. At that time I thought if I
stay at this job avoiding eating fast food will be a challenge. I’ve failed. I drink Starbucks and eat
at other drive-thru’s during my day at work.
The cheeseburger is a symbol in my memory of my consciousness to try and eat healthy. I
don’t think about that memory all of the time but I know where the location is and when I drive
by or if I’m eating at a restaurant that I’m not happy about my food choices the memory comes
back to me. I think of that time when I have buyers remorse from eating a cheeseburger instead
of taking time to make a healthy lunch from home. I have had good streaks of eating healthy
lunches during the workday. I love eating salads. But I can point to that moment which is my
memory of eating a cheeseburger as when I was concerned about my future and eating at drive
thru’s.